Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Let Battle Be Joined!

If the pen is mightier than the sword, then words are the mightiest weapons of war. Napoleon once said, "An army travels on its stomach." If this is true then the mouth of your enemies is the source of their strength. To break your enemies you must besiege their tongues. The taste buds of your enemy are the beachheads to conquest. War Chef Haggis Kahn presents culinary weapons that will be used to enslave the palettes of the world and usher in an age of delectable despotism.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Normandy class Assault Crepes AKA, "Crepes of Wrath."

The Normandy class assault crepes, also known as, ‘Crepes of Wrath’, are multipurpose support and filling landing craft.  These assault crepes are more heavily armed that most other landing crepes, and can serve as filling support landing craft or operate alone to provide quick flavor assaults.  The Normandy assault crepes are protected by a light egg and flour sheet plating, that is reinforced with crisped Parmesan bracers. The Crepes of Wrath are most notorious for their unusually heavy armaments that allow them to provide armored transport and support for filling infantry and also effectively operate independently of filling in tongue assault landings.  The assault crepes are armed with rapid fire green onion guns, and heavy barrage bacon batteries. The Normandy class assault crepes are light, agile, and vicious assault flavor crafts that double as filling transports, and savery solo assault crepes.

Here are intelligence satellite photos of a single Normandy class Assault Crepe.  Notice the white colored Parmesan bracers that provide extra support to the light flour and egg armor.  Also noteworthy are the green onion rapid fire batteries that appear as green specks and the dark reddish brown bacon light batteries.

The nickname, "crepes of wrath," comes when several assault crepes operate as a squadron.  These crepe squadrons are capable of bringing a crispy, savory, combination of bacon, onion, and crepe support to hard to assaults on entrenched taste buds.  Alone, or with filling support these assault crepes can perform delectable landings on the hardest to breach tongue fortifications.

Our intelligence networks have obtained detailed specifications of the Normandy Assault Crepes, so they can be added to the arsenal of the Food Reich. 
Crepe batter armor alloy:    
- 3 eggs
- 2 cups milks 
- 1 cup flour
- 1 tsp sugar
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 2 Tbsp butter
- 1/3 bushel of chopped green onions 
 - Allow to sit in refrigerator for at least 2 hours. 12 hours for best consistency

- 1 Tbsp crushed bacon bits (per crepe)
- 1/3 bushel green onions
- 1/2 Tbsp Parmesan cheese per crepe.

Manufacturing instructions:
In a skillet on medium heat, a crepe pan if available, melt enough butter per crepe to coat the pan.  After skillet is heated sprinkle 1/4 Tbsp of Parmesan cheese into skillet and allow to brown for 10-30 seconds then sprinkle 1 Tbsp bacon bits into skillet and allow to cook for another 10-30 seconds.  Take 1/4 cup crepe batter and use it to coat the skillet making sure it covers the inside of the skillet.  When crepe begins to lose its stick to the skillet quickly sprinkle another 1/4 Tbsp of Parmesan cheese onto crepe and quickly use high heat spatula to flip crepe.  After flipping, allow it to cook for another 2-3 minutes.  Remove from skillet.    

After completing the production of your assault crepes deploy them onto the breakfast battlefield as either a transport for filling infantry, or alone in squadrons to crack the hardest taste bud entrenchments.

- War Chef Haggis Kahn

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Trafalgar class Breakfast Cruiser Battle Sandwich

The Trafalgar Breakfast Cruiser Battle Sandwich is a mid-sized war sandwich intended to bring overwhelming savory support to theaters of breakfast conflict.  This heavily armored sandwich boasts a reinforced french toast armored hull, and a secondary hull of melted cheddar cheese.  The Trafalgar Sandwich is also heavily armed.  Its primary armament is 3-5 crispy, peppered bacon strip heavy batteries.  Its secondary armament consists of several slices of rapid fire, anti-bland, fresh jalapeño canons.  The Trafalgar Battle Sandwich is powered by three thick, sliced, Roma tomato turbines allowing it to reach fresh produce speeds despite its heavy cheesy, bacon weapons and french toast armor.

Here are some photographs of the Trafalgar Breakfast Cruiser Battle Sandwich on its shake down cruise. 

Here you can see the freshly sliced, Roma tomato power plants, the primary crispy bacon batteries, and the secondary jalapeño spice guns.  Also, there is a plain view of the cheddar cheese secondary hull to which the primary, and secondary flavor armaments are attached.

This is a photo of just the primary armored hull.  Notice the thick french toast armor consisting of sourdough bread infused with a milk, and egg alloy in a skillet on medium heat.

The Trafalgar class Breakfast Cruiser Battle Sandwich is a devastating weapon that bombards opposing taste buds with a barrage of bacon and fresh jalapeño salvos, complimented by hearty french toast and cheddar armor plating, and bound together with fresh Roma tomato propulsion.  The Trafalgar Sandwich is capable of launching heavy assaults on breakfast hunger, and overcoming the most fortified palettes.